My Adult Views

Susan stretched out on her bed, feeling the warmth of morning sun caressing her skin. It was a beautiful day, from what she could tell through the window, and normally she would be in a hurry to get up. Not today. At this moment, she wanted to do nothing more than lay still and feel the beating of her heart. It had been a very long time since she’d been so happy, so content.

Five years prior, Susan’s husband, Ben, had tragically lost his life to a drunk driver. Susan’s world had ended. She and Ben had been a couple since high school and she could not deal with the unbelievable pain of living without him. She had been inconsolable. Family and friends had rallied around her, visiting, making her meals and trying to gently ease her back into some semblance of life. Susan was having nothing of it. There was no life without Ben.

However, as life dictates, people learn to move on. Slowly, Susan began making changes that allowed her to adapt to a new lifestyle of her own. She had sold the house she and Ben shared and moved into an apartment near the new job that she had come to adore. She started accepting invitations from co-workers to join them for drinks after work. She attended more parties and engaged in new hobbies. Eventually, it felt like someone had turned the lights back on and she was no longer living in the dark.

The one thing Susan hadn’t done was date. In spite of everything she knew to be true, she still felt like she was betraying Ben. But, as the fifth anniversary of the accident was drawing closer, Susan finally admitted to herself and a few close friends that she was really lonely. Being widowed at the age of 30, she knew she couldn’t spend the rest of her life alone. Some of her friends recommended free dating sites as an option. “I hate blind dates,” Susan had replied. “Free dating sites aren’t at all like blind dates,” one of her friends had explained, “You create your profile and you can pick and choose who you want to have contact with – you never have to feel pressured because you are in control.”

Free dating sites had not been an avenue Susan had considered. She just assumed that somewhere, somehow, she’d run into a man with whom she’d “click.” That hadn’t happened, of course, so the free dating sites became her testing ground. Surprisingly, it hadn’t taken long for her to meet a few really nice men. It felt safe to cultivate a relationship online. She could take her time and that was what she needed most.

Finally, last night, Susan had agreed to a “real date” with Andrew. They had been dating online for months and she felt incredibly comfortable with him. They had met at a nice restaurant, had a great dinner and took a long stroll through town afterwards. He had been a perfect gentleman (in spite of all the warnings Susan had been given about meeting someone on the internet). This morning, Susan woke up with such a feeling of hope. It was like all the fog of the past five years had lifted and she was again able to enjoy the sun.